To MW Anonymous

I would like to express my sympathy for your situation. But I can say without reservation that the problem here is not with Freemasonry but with both your husband’s and your own choices.

Just as an antidote, I will relate the story of a couple very close to me. This man is one of the greatest men I have ever known. He worked tirelessly for his family, and when he joined Freemasonry he also made his way through some of the posts you described. But instead of being resentful, his wife was very proud of him, and accompanied him on many, many Masonic outings. But as he moved through the ranks, he was cognizant of his time away, and did not try to find his Greatness just within the walls of the Fraternity. When he was asked to do more in certain areas, he declined, and instead took posts in areas where his wife could be more involved. He rose to the head of the Shriners, and had his wife by his side at almost every event. With his wife by his side, he personally made sure that children with severe burns got to the Shriner’s Hospital in Boston – and with his wife at his side, he visited those children. He helped me to become a Mason, and mentored me throughout my time. Today, in his 80’s, he enjoys Masonic events – almost always with his wife – and is widely admired both within and without the Fraternity. I would be proud to be just like him.

My point is that you are wrong. People make decisions based on their needs. A man who truly neglects his family is doing so for the wrong reasons, but it is not the fault of Freemasonry.

Yes, I have seen the situation you are describing. And I have met these men’s wives. I promise you the anger you are feeling comes from somewhere else.

As much as I would love to keep this thread open, it is not really a place designed for women to come and air their troubles. Both men and women need to look within themselves – and their own lives – to understand their path. Yes, a man can get drawn into all the hundreds of areas of Freemasonry. And he could go to far.—just like he could get drawn into any positive endeavor until it becomes self serving.

Another reason I am closing this thread is because of the decidedly angry tone that every woman who posted to this thread (and the Lady Gloves thread) seemed to take—which seemed a little too convenient. A further search allowed us to discover a hidden agenda of spam with multiple screen names and IP address infiltrating the Site, with no intent to ask real questions, but, as one member suggested, were only here to cause havoc on the Site. These memberships have been discontinued

Thank you all for your questions, answers, and your time.

Bob Heruska.
Forum Administrator