Brothers, my fiancee is from Peru and is of the Catholic belief (I am Catholic).  She doesn’t have an issue with the Catholic viewpoints on Masonry so that’s a good thing.  However, she is deeply concerned over the “idea” that I am going to be keeping secrets from her when a marriage should be open and everything should be known about one another in our lives.  I don’t know how to explain this to her. 

It’s very hard because in a third world country like Peru there aren’t Greek organizations on University campuses.  In fact, when she found out I was a Greek (Phi Gamma Delta, aka FIJI), she freaked out about that too. 

Can anyone please assist me with an easy to understand explanation regarding the fundamental belief structure and the ideas of sworn secrets?  I want to help her understand so this will not be an issue in the future.

Also, is the Eastern Star a good thing to try and point her to?  Like to help answer questions?  I’m not too familiar with that organization at this point.

Thanks!
DG (Sebastian Lodge; Fort Smith, Arkansas)

Your concern is a valid one. My wife is Russian, and in Czarist Russia (prior to 1917), Masonry was only for the elite and higher of society. (See “War and Peace"). The communists closed down all of the lodges, many masons were sent to Siberia.  Now that the communists are gone, Masonry has retured to Russia. (I sat in lodge with fine men, who kept Masonry alive, I was honored to be in lodge with heroes). My wife had some misunderstandings about the Craft, but she is now totally cool with it.

You should share this webpage with your wife:

http://www.masonicinfo.com/ourwives.htm

and this from the Maine Grand Lodge:

To the wife of our newly accepted candidate:

We in the Masonic Fraternity are quite aware that you may feel some misgivings about your husband’s intention to join our order. His membership will take him occasionally away from you for an evening and leave you alone at home.

You may be reflecting on his new outside interest. You may have unspoken questionings about Masonry itself. We can understand your feelings.

We would like to ease your mind in this regard. It is one of Masonry’s ideals that its influence on a member may make him more loving, considerate, and thoughtful of those in his home.

Those who respond to masonic influence are likely to grow in those qualities a wife appreciates. This growth is not something which can be guaranteed, but it IS the INTENT of the Masonic Brotherhood.

We sincerely hope that you will find that you have exchanged your occasional evenings alone for an increasingly devoted husband because of his affiliations with Masonry.

We also hope that, in the future, we shall have the pleasure of your company at our semipublic installations and our lodge programs especially planned for the wives of masons. Should you ever be in the need of assistance, we trust you will remember that there is a body of Freemasons who care.

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You need to explain to her, that Masonry is not a secret society. Our goals and statements of purpose are splattered all over the internet, for all the world to see.  We wear rings and baseball caps so that we can identify each other. Many masons have vehicle license plates. Masonic buildings are clearly marked, meeting times are published.

The only secrets in Masonry, are the modes of recognition (handshakes,etc), and even these are easily available to anyone who chooses to research them.

You might consider asking one of the wives of your new brothers, to meet with her, and explain that she need have no fear or concerns.  My wife travels to Russia yearly (alone). She wears a “Mrs. Mason” pin, with the square and compasses design in rhinestones. If she gets into a hassle, she can find a mason to help her with lost luggage, or missed flights, etc.  If your wife travels alone, you might mention this to her as well.

The order of the Eastern Star is a marvelous organization, and well worth considering for a Masonic wife. Their webpage is

http://www.easternstar.org/

The Eastern Star is a co-ed organization, both men and women may join.

I guess I am really lucky.

My partner is totally supportive and excited in my interest in joining Masonry.
She is encouraging me in every way.

She even says to me “listen, I know you are going to have to go to meetings alone and there will be things you can’t tell me.  I am perfectly fine with that and totally understand.”

Btw Charles, i’m from Belarus, Minsk originally.
I was told that there is a Russian lodge in NY, but I don’t feel that is my path, as I consider myself American.

Thanks a lot for responding.  I’m very excited about Masonry and being involved in our local lodges; and hopefully I can help remove the fears of the future mrs’es.  Thanks again!
DG

Dear Bro∴ DG

My name is Edgar Gonzales, i was born in Peru and i was also initiated and raised in a Peruvian lodge, i have been living in the US since i was 15 and i am now a member of the Grand Lodge of Mississippi. I really hope your fiancee is understanding what freemasonry is all about, i realize that understanding freemasonry can be difficult and can be a slow process at times, however if you are still looking i believe i can help. I was instructed for years about the History of Peruvian Freemasonry. Peru has many famous Freemasons as the US does, many of our presidents, war heroes and man of honor where Freemasons as well, maybe your fiancee will have a different approach after she hears some of their names.

I am currently building a website for my mother lodge in Peru http://www.josegalvez75.com it’s all in Spanish and soon it will also be in English, i believe this website might also help her understand what freemasonry stands for and will also help her understand how freemasonry is carried on in Peru.

It was also nice to here that you were a FIJI, many of my best friends belong to that fraternity at the Mississippi State Chapter and let me tell you they are great man, i think highly of your organization. My email address is you can email me if you are still looking for help concerning your fiancee, i will be happy to help.

Fraternally,

Edgar Gonzales, 32°

Jose Galvez Eguzquiza #75
Grand Lodge of Peru

Circle Lodge #638
Grand Lodge of Mississippi

I think when it comes down to it, there are no secrets that you can keep from your wife. Except for a couple of passwords. Tell your wife it’s about fellowship for me. It not a society with secrets; but we are discreet.
After my wife helped me with my memorization of the first degree, (come on, how many wives don’t?), she has become better read on the subject and knows more than me. She is an art historian.

Bro:. jtjohnston,

I agree with you in only some parts of what you said, since the true reality about secrecy in freemasonry is a little more complicated than that. Here in the United States freemasonry is much more open and what is considered “secret” varies in different orients. Each Grand Lodge dictates to its members what is considered a secret and what is not. However in Bro:. Gordon’s case, his wife is from Peru.

The Grand Lodge of Peru dictates that almost every single detail about Freemasonry is a secret, this includes: ways of recognition, rituals, symbols and even membership recognition. As outrageous as it sounds, membership recognition is a very delicate topic down there, members are not allowed to expose their membership, however they cannot deny their membership either, in other words, you are not allowed to say you are a mason but if someone asks you cant say that you are not. This issue about membership exposure has always been a problem especially in the past, were sometimes a man would become a mason without his wife’s or family’s knowledge, this has definitely changed in the recent years but there are people that still believe in membership discretion or even membership secrecy.

This been said, i believe that the opposition of Bro:. Gordon’s fiancee and family towards Bro:. Gordon’s membership is because they think that the boundaries of secrecy, in terms of freemasonry, are the same in this two Orients. I believe that the best way is to explain Gabriela that each Grand Lodge has the ability to determine whats secret and whats not, and that “luckily” he belongs to a jurisdiction that is much more open, and that questions about our order are highly encouraged.

Hope this helps,
Edgar Gonzales, 32°

Jose Galvez Eguzquiza #75
Grand Lodge of Peru

Circle Lodge #638
Grand Lodge of Mississippi