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I want to date a Brother’s granddaughter
Posted: 31 January 2017 12:32 AM   [ Ignore ]  
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I was raised almost two years ago and recently reconnected with a girl I haven’t seen in much the past year or two. I’ve known her for six or seven years and her grandfather was one of my three endorsers. I’m really starting to like this girl quite a bit and I’d like to start dating her if things keep going well. I don’t want to cause any disharmony in the lodge so I figure I will speak to her grandfather and ask him if he would approve. My question is whether or not I should speak to her father as well, who is also a Master Mason. I’ve never met him in person or sat in lodge with him so I would have to seek him out outside of lodge and introduce myself. I
would like to follow whatever protocol is appropriate to the situation. What do you think, Brothers? Should I speak to her grandfather, to her father, or possible both?

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Posted: 31 January 2017 07:55 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 1 ]  
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There is no “Protocol” as you put it other than showing respect to the father/family. But if she is an adult (21 or older) then she is capable of making her own decisions as to who she wants to spend time with. And if she does consent to being with you then all is right. But that being said and speaking as a father of three young adult girls, it would probably go along way in your favor if you did speak with the father and maybe the grandfather. If you truly are of “masonic character” then it really shouldn’t matter, but it couldn’t hurt.

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Bro. David Howard
Jr Grand Deacon - GL of Alabama F & AM
Sr. Warden - Howard E. Palmes Lodge #917, Mobile, Alabama

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Posted: 31 January 2017 09:49 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 2 ]  
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Speaking as a Mason with daughters…

I think the two things to keep in mind are: 1) society has changed and 2) fathers’ love for and protectiveness of their little girls has not changed.

If (taking you out of the equation) a Mason got another Mason’s daughter pregnant on a one night stand and then refused to act responsibly, I can see there being an issue. But women are no longer property and a father’s permission to date is hardly applicable anywhere these days. In the normal course of events, you will meet her father. Treat her as you would want your own daughter treated and, all other things being equal, you should be fine.

One last thought - what impression would you give the young lady if you told her that her status was such that you had to ask Daddy’s permission before inviting her out? (Hint - from my experience with young women of late, you would be needing both Kevlar and Nomex.)

Good luck.

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Bro. Bob
Zetland Lodge No. 83
Calgary, AB

Initiated 1 March 1979
Passed 26 May 1979
Raised 18 October 1979

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Posted: 31 January 2017 12:05 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 3 ]  
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This actually happened to a friend of mine. His daughter said, “It’s not a violation if freely given.”

They younger brother and my friend’s daughter are happily married now and the only issue is I will be a grandfather before my friend :)

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John Ruggiero, 32°
Master, Ancient York Lodge, Lowell, MA.

God never sends us anything we can’t handle. Sometimes I wish He didn’t trust me so much. - Mother Teresa

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Posted: 31 January 2017 03:51 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 4 ]  
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Thank you all for your insight. I appreciate hearing from a Father’s perspective in particular. “It’s not a violation if freely given” is a perfect summation and this one statement answered my question entirely. I will still speak to her grandfather who I see weekly at practices, not because of my obligation but because he’s my Brother and I’m crazy about his granddaughter and want him to know. I’ll meet her father in the natural course of time.

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Posted: 01 February 2017 02:26 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 5 ]  
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I’m married to a granddaughter of a Mason.  Granted we got married well before I joined the fraternity.  So long as you act like a decent person there shouldn’t be an issue.

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DeWayne
Kensington-Bethesda Lodge No. 198 - Senior Warden
RAM, RSM, KT, KM, SRICF, Athelstan

I’m living in the DC area now.

There is no Gospel According to St. Youtube.

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Posted: 01 February 2017 02:49 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 6 ]  
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I’m married to the great granddaughter and step daughter of masons. We met at her mum’s Ladies Night and she asked me out.

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Richard
Past Provincial Junior Grand Warden, Provincial Grand Treasurer (Royal Arch)
Member of Craft, Royal Arch, Ancient & Accepted Rite, Mark, Royal Ark Mariner, Knight Templar, Knight Templar Priest, Order of Secret Monitor, Royal Order of Scotland
UGLE.

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Posted: 01 February 2017 11:05 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 7 ]  
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Posted: 02 February 2017 11:49 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 8 ]  
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As a father, and (almost) a Mason.. Allow me to give you a different perspective not yet voiced..

Each daughter has their own unique relationship to their father.  I have instilled my daughter with the impression, since she was 10, that any boyfriend she may have, will need to go through me.

When she turned 18, I informed her that so long as she is living in my house (she still lives at home to her mothers, and my, delight) it is required that I meet anyone she goes out with before hand.

Some people may think this is way overboard and unneeded.  To that I would respond with this comment.. “I was a young man myself at one point and I will leave it at that.”

So far, I have met every single friend she has and have not had any concerns with them.  I am happy to say, that I have only questioned 1 outfit she was going out in (once in her life time).

I truly believe that my daughter would respect my wishes in this area, as it would only be to help protect her.

So, in short, when you ask HER to start dating, offer to meet her parents (you have stated that you do not know them well) if she wishes.  To me, this shows genuine intent.

Good luck.

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Brother Ken

St. John’s 1P, RI
EA 10/19/16
FC 1/18/17
MM 3/15/17
Signed By-Laws 5/17/17

Far and away the best prize that life has to offer is the chance to work hard at work worth doing ~ Theodore Roosevelt

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