I can’t say as I’ve ever had to struggle with it. As both a Christian and a Mason, I can see nothing whatever in Freemasonry which conflicts in any way with the teachings of Jesus.
Rumors of dark rituals and Satanism are simply false. There is no truth to them. In 40 years as a Mason, I’ve never seen a hint of it.
Much of the supposed ‘conflict’ comes from ignorance, credulity and fear of the unknown. Let me give you one instance. There is a great clamor over the elected head of a lodge being called the ‘worshipful master’. “No man can serve two masters!” we are told. Yet, if we look at the gospel of Matthew, it is absolutely clear that Jesus was speaking of greed, of the desire for money. The verse in question (and I wonder how many using this argument have actually read it) specifically mentions money. And, curiously, the same people making that argument have no problems with their wives singing in a church choral group led by a choirmaster, their daughters going to band camp under the direction of a bandmaster or their sons being taught to tie knots by a scoutmaster.
The claim fails on so many levels, as do just about all of such claims. I treasure my Bibles, but in such a magnificent, complex work, one can find rationales for and against almost anything if one is selective in interpretation. Such claims are proof that the authors went to the Bible seeking not guidance but rather confirmation of an existing bias. That’s not how one should use the Good Book.
“But the term ‘worshipful’ means that Masonry is a religion!” we are assured by its enemies. Yet keep in mind that ours is a very old group and much of the language we use in our meetings is centuries old. Look in any good dictionary and you will be told that ‘worshipful’ is simply an archaic term for ‘honorable’. Indeed, the mayor of my city is addressed in council meetings as, ‘Your Worship’. Not a religion, not a religious term.
“But Masons keep things secret and swear oaths!” Yes, we do. (Actually, the oath I swore bound me, among other things, to be a loyal subject of the land and to obey the lawful authority. That part is generally missed by critics.) As to secrets, every group has its secrets - cops, lawyers, doctors, priests all have secrets. Members of a board of directors for a corporation often have to sign nondisclosure agreements. See how far you would get on a sports team if you leaked the team playbook. Fathers and mothers keep things private from their children. The claim is overblown. We have some things we keep private, that’s all.
In short, I cannot convince the hard-line critics, for their minds are closed. I would however invite you to consider the issue with an open mind. For myself, I have if anything had my Christian faith strengthened by the goodness I have seen in lodge.